The replies were “no, but we’re working on it.” Then voila, a few days later the emails are flying and the Rampage is a go.

So to everyone that put it together and was kind enough to invite me, thanks!

In case you didn’t read Bob or Maureen’s take on things, the concept is fast food sushi. All the ingredients are at the ready, waiting for rice and wrap to be passed down the line. Pick your fillings and sauces, pay, and walk away before you would normally get a glass of water at a sit down restaurant.

Here is my take:

For starters, the rice machine that spits out flat layers of sushi rice ready for a seawead (or apparently a soy) wrap at up to 1200 sheets an hour….that rocks….and I want one….

Also a mechanized plus to the sushi world, the cutter, insuring 10 evenly cut pieces every time.

In between those steps are all the fillings. Only two raw fish are available–tuna and salmon–and both are already marinated in some pretty tasty sauce. Everything else is hot…baked salmon, grilled steak, fried calamari, tempura chicken, etc… It’s most certainly a new twist on a traditional food form.

I went for a steak roll, dressed with their choice of toppings (except asparagus, I couldn’t bring myself to do that in sushi just yet). It was pretty tasty, but more of a novelty for me. I also did a raw salmon and tuna roll with my favorite accoutrements–avocado, green onion, and cream cheese, topped with tempura flakes and spicy mayo. I’m good at making healthy things bad for you….and it was delicious!

The sushi really was good, and I will certainly be going back. It’s not gonna be my number one spot…I like too many crazy fish options and weird stuff that Soho doesn’t have to make it my go to….but they are after a different segment of the market, and from what I saw/tasted they’re doing a great job at it. That’s what is cool about Soho, they are doing something different, something you can’t get at just any sushi joint.

As far as value, this place has it. Every roll is 10 pieces, which means two is plenty for me and anyone that wants to try a roll off my plate.

So to Zach and Stephan: great job fellas, and thanks for hosting our group. I can’t wait to come back.

The overall highlight for me? Being in great company at a fun/tasty new spot downtown on a stellar Tuesday night.

Night 1

My first stop is always at Andy's for Shish Tawook

Fish and Chips: ok, but not good enough to remember where it was from

I feel bad for people that can't tolerate gluten because this cookie was pretty weak.

So the winner of night 1, hands down, was Andy’s Mediterranean

Night 2

Ribs from The Inn

Mac n' Cheese from Bella Luna was pretty good, but the Buffalo Mac was awesome

Beer for desert...always a winner

I love The Inn, but damn that Buffalo Mac n’ Cheese was good. Dare I say it was Mackin’ Cheese….so it wins night 2.

Night 3

Vicious Voodoo Chicken

I also got the Shrimp Scampi from somewhere…wasn’t that good and I forgot to take a picture.

That leaves the awesome and perfectly spicy Voodoo Chicken from J. Gumbo’s as the night 3 winner.

Overall the Voodoo chicken was the best thing I ate all weekend. Tthat chicken and sauce had so much flavor and spice I ended up going back for another bowl. Located downtown on Walnut between 4th and 5th, I’ll be heading to J. Gumbo’s for lunch often……especially on the other side of summer when I need something to heat me up.

Once again we met in front of Park+Vine at 12:30 on a bright Saturday afternoon. This year Reser had some shirts (rolled as bike tires) sitting on the check in table, and I had a little fun waiting for everyone to check in and pump up.

The OTR/Gateway Summer Celebration was taking place right up the block, and had I not been working on Race St I would have run the 5k and partied a bit before our food trek. Instead I caught a glimpse of the action as ~50 of us pulled away from P+V.

We cruised up Vine St through the heart of OTR (and past the park that will be my new backyard) on our way to Take The Cake in Northside. I’ve heard so many great things about TtC that I was a bit embarrassed I had never been there before.

My garage is on the other side of the park

The cruise to Northside was a good 5 miler, enough to work up a sweat, only to have it cooled by TtC’s awesome Gazpacho. Which then heated you back up with its spicy kick!

I may have purchased a brownie as well...

Not an official stop, but right next door was Cluxton Alley Coffee roasters. I’m not a coffee guy, but I poked my head in with a few other people to check it out.

Back on our rides we pedaled the longest single length of our journey, a 10 mile and at times not-so-flat (hey it’s Cincy) route over to Pleasant Ridge to Loving Cafe. The only repeat so far in the B+D series, they changed up from the veggie rolls and peanuts sauce we got last time (which was awesome) and went with fresh fruit and a salad, accompanied by two phenomenal homemade dressings.

With only six miles left to cover two stops, we took a short cruise over to Lucky John Slow Food where we filed through a buffet of pasta and vegan pizza awesomeness.

Seeking shade

After a nice boost of energy from all those carbs most people cruised (and some of us hauled ass) through Eden Park into Mt. Adams to The Rookwood. They served up some awesome chocolate on chocolate dessert and some “Yellow Bicycles” which were something, something, St. Germain and Proseco.

Each Bike+Dine has been a different experience for me, so I can’t say any one was better than the other. They have all been a blast though, and I can’t wait for the fall 2010 ride.

Turning+Sneezing....now that's talent

A little help from the popo in walnut hills

Cheers!

Thing is, even with work being the primary objective of this particular trip, when 3 gentlemen who went to university together reunite, especially under such spectacular weather conditions, they must immediately celebrate with glorious amounts of food and alcoholic libations. Upon my friends arrival we immediately made our way to La Mexicana, and I was able to creep them out a little bit by parking in back and walking in through the cash only mexican grocery store.

Dinner was as great as it always is and I determined once and for all that the green salsa in the bottle (as opposed to the one that comes out with the first basket of chips) is my favorite. A little red for some extra kick is ok, but not always necessary.

After a feast that included barbacoa and chicken tacos as well a big order of flautas we hopped back across the river to my place to drop the car off and walk to Arnold’s. There in lies a bit of the problem–by dropping the car off, we took the limit on the intake of alcohol and pushed it into different territory (let’s forget about that time at the Jacob’s house….thanks for the ride). For three guys who enjoy the company of one John Jameson, that can be somewhat detrimental to accomplishing a full days work (keeping in mind the weekend before I worked 7:30 am to 6 pm).

Two thirds of our party started with Cumberland Pale Ales while the crazy SOB in our group said fuck it and went Jameson and ginger. “Oh yeah, and a three shots of Jameson,” accidentally flowed from my lips–we were off. Bowl of peanuts in hand we moved to the patio, 3 stooges out drinking and generally being goofballs. A step away from their normal Friday night genre, Arnold’s was featuring a pretty funky little jazz band on the patio. I’m pretty sure they had a deal with Rhonda to play music that convinced people they need more booze, because even our one friend who didn’t normally like straight shots of Jame was DEMANDING them!

*                    *                    *

Soooooo we made it to Findlay market by noon on Saturday. Have I mentioned how nice it is to have a garage directly across from the market? The place was slammed and we just parked at my spot and walked over. We grabbed a quick breakfast at Ms. Helen’s Grill (best $3 breakfast sandwich around) and then walked back across the street to start working. Greasy food and powerade gave us energy, while at the same time our natural male desire to break things using big tools took over, and we started tearing apart drywall and plaster.

In a solid five hours we managed to expose the entire wall of brick in what will be an upstairs office/den. I had already removed the commercial-style drop ceiling, and while we were chipping away at the plaster we were also pulling down parts of the old furred out plaster ceiling, exposing copious amounts of coal dust from the rafters above. The good news was that the joists themselves look great, and so far there are no signs of water leaking; lets hope the same holds true in the back of the building as well.

We accomplished well more than I could have in a whole weekend by myself, and for that I am very thankful. I’m lucky to have good friends who will come down and help out (even in potentially hazardous conditions). Of course I treated them to breakfast and plenty of those drinks the night before, but they would have come and helped me out regardless (hell we played 3-way Rock, Paper, Scissors for the tab at La Mexicana).  I’m sure the chance to break stuff with the 10 lb sledge didn’t hurt either.

The awesome G&M wrecking crew

One of my friends commented that out of almost any one of our acquaintances in college, he never would have picked me to be living in Cincinnati. I’ve been thinking about what has made me stay here these past three years, and why I’m committing myself to this area for the foreseeable future with the purchase of a building–of my first home. At the end of the day a lot of it comes down to the local friends that I keep in contact with-it has made this a very comfortable area to be in (and I’m really speaking about here to Columbus, where half of my friends reside). Not only have I met awesome new people, but I’ve been able to sustain long term friendships with close college friends. Add to that a job I really enjoy in a city where the cost of living is low–it’s pretty hard to complain. With the progress I have witnessed in the last three years I think Cincinnati is going nowhere but up. That extends beyond downtown and OTR (which I do love) to places like Northside, another community that does a great job of being, well, a community. I’m excited to be part of a location people are so passionate about and its renaissance.

Anyone in my family can tell you, one of my favorite sandwiches growing up was a Peanut Butter+Mint Jelly sandwich.

At some point (holiday) we were having lamb for dinner, and we had mint jelly as a condiment for it. I liked mint, I liked jelly, and I like PB+Js, so naturally I threw together a PB+MJ one day, and it turned out to be awesome!

I had kinda forgotten about mint jelly until my most recent trip to the grocery store. In an effort to rid my diet of products containing High Fructose Corn Syrup, I stood in the jelly aisle looking for something that was just fruit based. Then, on the top shelf at the edge of the section, I spotted the green glory. Yes, it is cheap, and most certainly contains HFCS. At that moment I didn’t care, I wanted it. So I bought some “all-natural” strawberry preserves (so says Smuckers) and a little jar of MJ.

After 5 days of being with my mom and sister, I was feeling nostalgic for the days of yore, and it was great to bring this childhood treasure of mine back for a taste. It’s got me thinking about some of the other staples of my childhood (many not as simple as a PB+MJ) that I want to bring back into my life. Arroz con pollo watch out, you’re next…

Now I’ve been alive a hair over 25 years–in that time I have heard, read, and uttered more than my share of viral language. But the number of times I’ve heard the words “shit” and “fuck” were doubled on Monday when I went to Park Chili in Northside for lunch.

I get to Northside a few times a month, and I’m always game to try something new. Having eaten at the Blue Jay Diner, my boss and I thought we would give a similar establishment, only a few doors down, a chance at feeding us. Located on the southeast corner of Hamilton and Knowlton, Park Chili holds a prime piece of restaurant real estate. So when we walked in to NO customers and the staff sitting around the diner bar, alarm #1 went of in my head. I think had either my boss or I turned around the other would have followed without question. But being a family owned and operated business since 1937, we thought we owed it to the legacy to take a chance.

Alarm #2 rang as I sat down and heard a woman in the back utter “So-and-so put the fucking lid from the boiled potatoes on top of my clean lids!” That was followed by our waitress who brought us two glasses of water, muttering “I think these are clean,” as she set them on our table. Alarm #3 began to ring over #2.

But c’mon, this is a greasy spoon if I’ve ever been in one, and if everything was spotless the food would probably suck. So we stuck around, albeit with a keen eye on every bit of silverware placed at the table.

My boss got a coney and a 4-way and said the chili was decent, better on the coney than the pasta. I got the Phil Burger, a diner-sized double decker that was on par with what I remember having at the Blue Jay, but not as good as Red Fox (Editor’s note: Although I’ve eaten there more times than I can count, I have yet to try The Big Tucker at Tucker’s on Vine, which I expect to be pretty solid as far as diner burgers go).

The food is not why I’m writing about this place. I eat out all the time, but I leave the restaurant reviews to the foodies. But fuck me if this wasn’t the most fucking fucked up speech pattern I’ve ever fucking heard during a meal. I wish I had one of those admissions counters they use at events to count the swear words. Honestly, I don’t think 10 seconds went by without hearing one, which puts our half hour meal in the 180 curse word territory…and frankly it could have gone over 200.

We were treated to conversations about how so-and-so fucked this up, or how some other asshole was a total piece of shit. Or how so-and-so had to be making money because “That son of a bitch is selling sandwiches for $10!”

It was really unbefuckinglievable, and I hope you give it a chance so you can (audibly) witness it for yourself. And when your meal is done, don’t fuck around and wait for the fucking check, just walked up to the register and pay for your shit.

I was completely unaware of what I had gotten myself into (my own fault I realize). Friday afternoon and the clock was winding its way towards quitting time, and I was getting psyched to get my tasting on. I checked my twitter feed and found an article over at Circle 3 Concepts about the errors in the ways of the upcoming event’s organizers. It was kind of a bummer to read that what I thought was going to be another great craft beer tasting was going to be more of a BMC promo event with a lot of extraneous booths and only a handful of quality brews I hadn’t sampled.

Here were my notes from the event, some of which I will elaborate on below:

I understand that in order to prevent people from getting hammered there needs to be a way to control alcohol consumption, but tasting tickets is not the way. At GABF, I typically sample over 100 beers every day, and guess what, I don’t need a full sample of every brew. Yes, I enjoy as much IPA and Barleywine as I can, but sometimes I’m curious about a smoked stout or cherry porter, and I don’t need a 2 oz. sample to try it. But at this event you had to give your ticket up even if you wanted a half-pour.

It’s pretty simple really, if you advertise unlimited samples, don’t hand me 35 tasting tickets at the door, that’s BS. I wouldn’t make a big deal about this except the guy at the Meet+Greet was pumping that info hard (someone correct me if I’m making all this up, but I swear he bragged about unlimited sampling). Now, to be fair, by the end of the night people were handing us tickets, and I had as many samples as my stomach could handle. But what does that tell you when people are giving you tickets and leaving early? I think the quote below describes my view.

I did hear some awesome music, including Oakland Blackouts by Hieroglyphics….if early ’90s hip-hop is your thing you know that’s a pretty bangin’ track.

As far as people asking what’s popular at a beer booth, that doesn’t bug me itself, I do that all the time. It was the fact that I heard it over and over again at booths that had regular commercial beer. Have you really never heard of Becks before? I guess that was the crowd the organizers were going for, and good for them, they did a good job. It’s not that I expect everyone to know everything about beer styles and what they like (I learn plenty at every tasting) but this whole event just caught me a little off guard.

The last travesty on the list is something I couldn’t get over…it was a problem that stemmed from having a catering/event company manning the booths and not brewery reps or volunteers. I watched as a guy poured a sample for a patron, looked at the glass, and poured some beer out because there was too much in the glass. Excuse me, but COME THE FUCK ON. Even at GABF, where they enforce a one ounce sample rule (but you can have as many as you want), if a pour goes a few drops over the line they won’t pour it out! If college taught me anything it’s that pouring out beer is the worst case of alcohol abuse known to man (unless it’s for your dead homies, in which case, respect).

Enough bitching, let me tell the rest of the story in pictures.

Listermann finally got a license to start making their own brews, and they had some pretty good stuff to sample. My personal favorite was the cask conditioned IPA pictured below.

Craft beer in a Peroni labeled mug...sigh....

Und Becks? Ja, beer for the masses

Love Barrelhouse

I really hope the guys at Rivertown get control over their quality. When we tried the Hop Bomber at the Meet+Greet I thought it was a nice, well balanced pale ale. When I had it here smelled like pure butter. Diacetyl much?

Butter Bomb

Shiner had cool tap handles

Of the non beer-related stuff I found a few things that were cool:

Goofy Costumes, always a winner in my book

There were also Makers stogies....

At least there wasn’t a food debacle like the winter beerfest. We knew going in that there would be food inside for purchase, and that was OK. What has become a Cincinnati staple, Taste of Belgium, was on hand with crepes and waffles, joined by long-lived Cincy relic.

Mmmmm...the Inn.....

In the end I still had fun at the event (great company never hurts =) and I certainly ended up with my fill of beer. But when I’m evaluating which Beerfest to go to next year, I think I’ll leave this one with the suds on the floor.

Part of what made this last weekend so phenomenal was eating one of my favorite sandwiches, the egg-in-a-grilled-cheese basket. It all starts by building a grilled cheese to your own specs. In my case it was two slices of wheat bread, one slice of muenster and one slice of swiss. Acceptable add-ons include but are not limited to: tomato, onions, smoked salmon, salsa, and damn near anything else that goes with bread, cheese, and eggs.

This next step is critical. Locate a cup around your house that will cut a hole in the sandwich large enough to allow a nice egg layer, but small enough that there is still cheese involved–you don’t want to eat eggs wrapped in crust. In my case I use a tasting glass from the Great American Beer Festival.

Next butter up your pan (mmmmm, real butter) and throw in the sandwiches. Notice the cut-outs are still used as baby grilled cheeses.

Crack 1 or 2 eggs in the middle of each sandwich and cook for a few minutes on medium heat. If you use 2 eggs, might I suggest you crack one, sprinkle some shredded cheese on it, and then add the second egg.

Next up, flip ‘em.

I’ve found that if I follow my normal grilled cheese cooking times I get a nice easy/medium egg. If you want it super runny turn the heat up a bit to cook the bread faster (and thus a faster flip) while leaving the insides pretty mushy. I’ve also pulled the sandwiches off and wrapped them in tin foil to take for a breakfast on the run, although the eggs will normally cook the rest of the way through.

In this case, however, I pulled these straight outta the pan and dove right in. A damn good meal if you ask me.

Eggtacular

Eggceptional

Egg-a-rific

First we got a little Cincinnati beer history lesson from Timothy Holian, the author of both of the Over The Barrel books. Much like the literature, Tim gave a nice talk about the culture of beer in Cincinnati, and was kind enough to answer questions for us at the end (even though only one person asked something).

Tim skyping in from Wisconsin

After the education from afar, we were treated to my style of learning–a more hands on approach (as in hands on glasses of beer). Jason and his business partner (who I didn’t get a card from, and thus forgot his name) from Rivertown Brewing Co were on hand with their 5 signature beers (available year round) and of course, their seasonal Bock.

I was first introduced to Rivertown at the Winter Beerfest (I assume that is the case with most everyone, because they are a relatively new game in town) and I have to say I wasn’t all that impressed at the time. Last night however, with the chance to taste an entire flight of brews, I thought a bit higher of their beers. Honestly, most of them aren’t my style (too damn malty) but the Hop Bomber was right up my alley. At ~60 IBU’s it was a well balanced pale ale that I could drink all night given the chance.

Bomb Me

Free beer (minus the pints we bought), free pretzels from Servatti, and the good company of other Cincinnati beer enthusiasts, what more could you ask for? How about a few more pictures….

In the interest of full disclosure (and to comply with this) I feel obligated to reiterate that I was invited to this event by the operators/promotors of the upcoming beerfest, and we were given free samples of Rivertown’s beer, and free pretzels. That said, I will be attending the beerfest, and would’ve regardless……and I already knew how much I loved Servatti’s pretzels.

In addition to the website you can also find the Cincinnati Beerfest on twitter. Follow @CinciBeerfest for info and chances to win tickets.

A special thanks to Danielle who was kind enough to coordinate this whole gig and invite yours truly.

The other night, however, brought about rumblings in my stomach that wouldn’t be quelled by any ordinary breakfast sandwich. No, after a grueling circuit workout of body and free weight exercises I needed something more substantial. Raiding my bare cupboard turned up the usual; bread, cans of soups, pasta and peanut butter. The fridge wasn’t any better, not holding much more than eggs, bread, cheese, and OJ. Like a word problem on the SAT’s I was left trying to figure out the best combination of pieces, knowing not every foodstuff was going to be thrown into the mix (if all those cooking shows taught me one thing it was KISS!–keep it simple stupid!).

Ok, tomato-basil soup, cheese, and bread–that’s an easy option. But I didn’t want to make three grilled cheeses, requiring my continued attention at the stove, eating one sandwich as a made another. No, I was looking to cook, eat, and be done.

Thus I bring you the smothered and covered (I don’t think waffle house has that trademarked) over-medium triple decker, served bloody.

Don’t be fooled, there is no meat in this.

It all starts with four pieces of bread and cheese (I’m going muenster and swiss) in the toaster oven. Crisping bread and melting cheese, keys to a good start.

While that’s toasting it’s time to turn our attention to the eggs. Fried eggs aren’t that difficult. Normally I like mine over-easy, and for me that means cooking them on one side, flipping them over for about 30 seconds and then pulling them off the stove for that phenomenal runny yoke. But for this adventure I wanted over-medium, with a gooey center that stayed in place upon dissection. Instead of pulling my eggs off at the over-easy phase, I just kill the heat and let them finish up while the toast/cheese is in it’s final stages of toastymeltification.

At this point it’s time I turn to my friends at Progresso, heating up their tomato-basil soup in the microwave.

Now, for the construction (click on the pic below to see the GIF, sometimes it doesn’t load on this page).

I call it the stack n’ smash, because the next step is….

Now, for the awesome inside reveal shot:

So that’s the triple decker over-medium, but where’s the blood? Remember the tomato soup that is still sitting in the microwave…lay it on…thick.

Truth be told I ladled some soup on so I could take that picture, but then I just dumped the rest of the bowl over it.

The final step, clean your plate, as best you can.

These dudes work at Miller and use fancy words like "diacetyl" and "beer"

There were a lot of great highlights from the usual cast of craft brew characters. Founders had a great showing, with Double Trouble being the standout at the table. Not to be outhopped Bell’s brought along some Hopslam, but that lasted almost as long as it did when it was first tapped. Our good friends at Rogue decided to come fashionably late, but it proved worthwhile with their winter spirit:

The Madness was Epic

My favorite of the evening was Dogfish Head’s Midas Touch, which was so good I didn’t even bother to take a picture of the tap handle or me enjoying any of it. Cause that makes sense…..

I did, however, take advantage of a couple of great photo ops:

Chugfest

Any bottle of beer that big deserves a hug, even if it is inflatable

Even though most craft beer is domestic, I found a couple of imports

That actually hurt a lot more than I let on at the time

I’ve been to a number of beer tastings in a variety of venues. I have to say that for the most part, this was a great event. One gripe would be the pain-in-the-ass check in process. Allow me to add some constructive criticism: YOU NEED MORE THAN 2 PEOPLE GIVING OUT WRISTBANDS! This isn’t a door job at a martini club, it’s a BEERFEST. That means get us in and starting feeding us samples. Although the complete abandonment of the thirty sample punch card leveled the playing field, so I’ll take it.

While I’m talking negatives: the VIP food ran out, well, before I saw it, and I was there when the doors opened. If you can’t keep that table stocked until (at least) the end of the VIP session then don’t tease me with it on the flyer. The food for purchase wasn’t bad (pretzel and cheese, mini-burgers, etc) but just about anything looks gourmet after sampling so many different–and high alcohol content–beers.

But you don’t go for the food. That’s why Via Vite exists a few blocks away.

The conclusion: Cincy Winter Beerfest was worth every penny I didn’t-pay-because-Ryan-bought-my-ticket-on-the-condition-I-bought-the-pizza-after. You should probably go next year, unless you’re not into the whole fun thing.

Bleeeeeh! That's me throwing up at the sight of this now.

You’d have to be one baked potato to enjoy this. It’s seriously disgusting, and I don’t know where these guys get the balls to call anything about it potato-like, much less heavenly. It tastes like three month old ranch dip that they found lying around in a damp corner of the warehouse. It’s got nasty little chunks of dark green things in it, and after one bite I just closed the lid and put it back in the fridge. I never rarely throw anything out after just one bite, everything deserves a second chance.

After work one day I figured I would give it another shot. Let me assure you, there was no need. It might be called heavenly because when you take a bite, you might just die out of pure disgust, and hopefully make your way up to the heaven (wheree there is undoubtedly an endless supply of amazing, freshly made chip dips). There is nothing good about this, in fact the shit is bad for you. I normally don’t even buy things like this, but it was new and I wanted to give it a shot. I’m seriously considering calling the number on the jar and asking for my money back, because clearly I’m not satisfied.

So save yourself a few bucks and pass this one over when you’re in the chip aisle.

That took about 5 minutes, then I was in the shower. Fast forward 15 minutes, I’m out of the shower and the rice is almost done. Then I started cooking the eggs–6 six scrambled eggs minimum, although 8 leaves you with egg to the last bite. By the time those are done the rice is about there as well. I pile the eggs onto the rice, add some sriracha sauce, and mix it all together.

Shitty iPhone photo, but you get the idea

You can add any shredded cheese you like to the mix, although I didn’t have any. Instead, I went for some of the best sour cream around, from Gibb’s at Findlay Market. Made fresh on Thursdays, delivered on Friday mornings, this stuff is incredible, and it stays good for about a month!

I took some of the egg/rice mix and threw it on some Frito’s Scoops, and topped that with a little sour cream.

I’m normally left with a nice one pound container to use for any of the three meals today. I can wrap it up in a tortilla or fork it right from the container. I also like to throw it on toast with cheese–a rice and egg melt.

Naturally you can add meat to this, but again, I was working with what I had. Overall the version above costs about $10, and I’m including the sour cream, the entire bag of Fritos, the other half dozen eggs, and the bottle of sriracha sauce in that.