Most of my bikes are women

Referred to as she, like, she’s a beauty, or, I can’t wait to take her out for a spin.

But not this guy.

He’s a man’s man.

Burly, hair on your chest, can’t take no for an excuse because it’s just not in his vocabulary. Push it, crank it, coast it, brake it, single speeds are becoming a good friend of mine. In reality you still plot your moves just as much, but you’re focused on pedal stroke and braking more, without thinking about shifting. And in the woods that makes it even easier to lose touch with the world and focus on the trail. I got some SASS* in my life, and it opened my eyes to the liberation that is no gears. Well one gear. One single gear to just pedal with.

But just this week we had a nice 60+ degree day, which meant two wheeled pedal power for sure. And I had a new friend in this guy:


First time I’ve messed around on a single speed/fixie road bike. I lasted a three block loop before I realized fixie was the dumbest shit ever, and a single speed where I can coast is just fine. But man, a quick ride to Covington and back and I could feel my quads grimacing. Granted it’s been two months since my last ride, but I’ve been going to the gym to substitute, so it’s not as though I’ve been sedentary for that last 60 days.

Regardless, change of pace doesn’t even describe that 8+ mile ride (may have taken the scenic route) compared to my normal ultegra utility. Such a great feeling, just….go.

So I wanted to name this bike. It was a gift of sorts, with some shin-splittingly grippy pedals added specifically for my enjoyment. The gifting party, also knowing that I’ve always loved bullhorn handlebars, made sure to wrap them in bright green bar tape, a focal point on an otherwise stealth ride.

So there was Greenhorn. It was a good name, sounded cool, and most people would get it off the bat.

But that was the old me. Pick some features, meld them into a word, and name it. But the old me also bought the nuetral colored running shoes. And my latest pair……bright red. Just seemed more fun (plus I run a lot at night, and the brighter the better).

So Greeenhorn, it was a starting point, but there was more. I had to ask myself:

“What would my sister name it?”

Like I said, I don’t normally name bikes. Yeah, there’s the Kona, the Bianchi, and the Raleigh. Named for me. And maybe it’s because this one didn’t have a brand on the frame, but I realized, if you’re going to give it a name, if you are going to personalize it, fucking go for it. That’s what my sister would do.

So, my newest steed’s full name is Sir Robert Greenhorn. And it works, because with this guy it’s duel personalities; when you’re cruising he’s Bobby, while Greenhorn will kick your ass up every incline over 3%.





*Shiny Ass Single Speed. Pretty sweet SS mtb from Bianchi that I picked up second hand.

4 comments to Most of my bikes are women

  • After leaving you place yesterday I got home and put my single speed back together and took it out for a run, same thing, my legs were screaming. I need to get back into bike shape. Of course part of the problem on the single speed, for me at least is every light it a dare, how fast am I going to leave these cars behind.

    I’ve been trying to come up with a name for my single speed since last summer, nothing has grabbed my imagination yet.

  • Oh yeah, I know that stoplight problem. I’m glad grinding those washers down worked and you’ve got it back together. Hoping for a lot of good riding this year!

  • I may have got a name, someone talking the other day said something about a vicious cycle.
    DAMN! that might be it, a vicious cycle.

  • OH SNAP, that’s awesome. Would be a great name for a biker gang too.

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